Merging Psychedelic Therapy with Sex Therapy
Psychedelic Therapy has been exploding for the last several years. With MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies) on its way to FDA approval for MDMA-assisted therapy, Ketamine assisted psychotherapy (KAP) readily available, and many states taking measures to decriminalize plant medicine and offer psilocybin therapy, psychedelic-assisted therapy will soon be a widely known and an accepted form of healing.
Sex therapy is traditionally a form of cognitive therapy to support people in their intimate lives and relationships. I undoubtedly believe that with the widespread use of psychedelic therapy, people will be looking to explore and deepen their sexuality with psychedelic therapy.
Combining psychedelic therapy with sex therapy can be a beautiful marriage.
Here are some ways that psychedelic therapy can support sex therapy:
Access to non-ordinary states of consciousness (NOS)– A non-ordinary state is essentially an altered state of mind. Substances can create a NOS but it’s not the only way. Dance, breathwork, meditation, energy practices, somatic therapy, and SEX can give access to non-ordinary states. The benefit of working with non-ordinary states in therapy is that it gives access to the implicit or the material below the tip of the iceberg of our thinking mind. Many forms of talk therapy (including sex therapy) are cognitive, only tapping into what is explicitly known. Engaging in sex during sex therapy is a big no-no, however, more tools are needed for sex therapists to help folks touch into their implicit erotic selves, and psychedelic-assisted therapy is a powerful one. By doing so, folks may begin to deepen their exploration of their desires, release shame, and awaken their life force.
I once worked with someone who lost interest in sex for years after giving birth. By entering a NOS she began to relive her pregnancy and just how difficult the experience was for her. She encountered a part of her that during the pregnancy decided that she never wanted to go through that experience again. This part took control and took sex off the table, without her consciously knowing it. She was able to make peace with this experience, took measures to take charge of her sexual health, and began enjoying sex again.
Psychedelics can support people to heal and transform experiences that they may not even know are affecting them, leading to greater erotic awareness and empowerment.
Embodiment– Sex happens in the body. Embodiment is a key ingredient for vibrant sexuality. For many with sexual challenges, there may be difficulty to get into the body. The body may be a place of shame, hurt, or confusion. Psychedelic medicine can give access to the body in a way that may not regularly be accessible. This tool can start to support someone to actually feel what’s happening in the body and begin to befriend that experience, resulting in more empowerment that can be applied to their sexual lives. Even ketamine, which is a dissociative medicine (takes you out of the body), can be used to experience a felt sense of safety, which may be something that has been difficult to experience otherwise.
Pleasure- Psychedelics can help us feel good! Pleasure in and of itself is healing. Many of my own psychedelic experiences have included waves of ecstatic pleasure moving through my body (without being touched at all!). Even during a session with my therapist using cannabis, the energy felt so powerful that I began moaning in bliss as I ran my hands over my body as an act of self-love. Thankfully, my therapist did not stop me out of fear and instead encouraged me to take in the pleasure. This is life force energy – it’s beautiful and it lives inside everyone. Unfortunately, depression, sexual shame, negative sexual programming, oppression, and many other experiences shut down our life force. There are many practices from qigong, kundalini yoga, and reiki (to name just a few) that open up energy centres in our body. Psychedelic medicine can open these very blissful energy channels as well. Dogmatic religion has shamed pleasure out of fear of its power. Pleasure is not the problem. However, repression, greed, and fixation on pleasure as a way to avoid pain will likely lead to suffering. Inviting pleasure into your life can be a profound healing experience. One goal of sex therapy may be to reframe climax-focused sex and move toward pleasure as a goal. Psychedelics can be very painful and difficult at times. They can also be extremely pleasurable. Psychedelic therapy can support people to become more present with pleasure in their lives in and out of the bedroom.
Exploring & embracing gender & sexual identities- My first ayahuasca experience was the first that I really touched into a felt sense of fluidity of my own gender. I have also worked with folks who have been deeply supported by psychedelics in the exploration of their gender. Psychedelics can unlock aspects of ourselves that may be repressed out of fear or shame. I’ve witnessed people with sexual kinks make peace and embrace this side of themselves with psychedelic therapy. For example, I worked with a client using ketamine, who saw themselves as a child, terrified to be alone. They were able to bring compassion to their desire to wear diapers as an adult as a way to cope with distress and enjoy sexual pleasure. An intention to explore these identities can be helpful as a way to begin. A psychedelic therapist or guide who will not dismiss or shame is extremely important.
Feeling connected to everything– Interconnection, or the feeling that everything is connected, is a common experience that people have on psychedelics. What if folks could take that into their romantic and sexual relationships? Interconnection, to me, is an experience of being intimate with life. Couples who are struggling to connect could benefit from the experience of letting down some of the barriers that keep them from closeness. Seeing the sacredness in my partner is a key ingredient that makes my intimate relationship flourish. Whether exploring psychedelics on your own or with your partner(s), touching in with universal love and the sacredness of life will include your partner (and likely many others in your life). There’s a whole new dimension of intimacy that’s available to you – beyond the story, deeper than what you think you know about the other as you’re willing to enter into the mystery. With practice and integration, novelty and authenticity can become part of the ordinary experience of security and commitment, and each day offers the possibility to bring fresh eyes to your beloved.
Working with parts- Psychedelics can give access to parts of ourselves who we may have disowned, or have a difficult relationship with. As sexual and erotic beings, we bring parts of ourselves into sex – a shy part, a diva part, a part that worries about having enough time, a part that tries to manage how we appear, and a part that is afraid of being seen, for example. I love how in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the message is that there are no bad parts. All parts of ourselves want us to be happy. Being in an intimate relationship with your erotic parts includes moving toward curiosity and compassion. In sex therapy, we want to see who is showing up in the bedroom, so to speak. Parts want to be understood and have their needs met in order to have a sexual relationship that feels good. Parts often show up in a big way with psychedelic medicine. An intention to call forth our erotic parts with the use of psychedelics can be an extremely helpful tool for sex therapy.
Healing Sexual Trauma – All of the above are contributors to help heal sexual trauma. Psychedelics can support a process to release trauma in the body by releasing the nervous system charge (which can sometimes look like shaking, crying, purging, or more subtle movements/energy shifts). By incorporating the aforementioned points, psychedelics can support a person in restoring their sense of autonomy, safety, and pleasure in their body. MDMA has especially been shown to heal PTSD as seen in the MAPS studies. MDMA quiets the amygdala signal in the brain, which regulates our fear response. Therefore, trauma survivors are able to process their trauma with less fear and be in a new relationship with their past.
A note on safety
Psychedelics are not a magic solution. In fact, psychedelic therapy is actually hard work. As psychedelics become more available for therapeutic use, it is wise to proceed slowly. Combining medicine with sexuality (some of the most tender parts of our being) requires safety, trust, and discernment. Psychedelics let down barriers, which is one of the wonderful things about them. As clinicians working with sexual energy, it is especially important to establish really solid containers and boundaries. Along with the healing of psychedelics, come the dangers. That experience of interconnection and intimacy with life may very well be felt between the client and therapist. It’s the responsibility of the therapist to hold a loving container that celebrates this experience while holding energetic and erotic boundaries. Refraining from including sexuality in psychedelic therapy is not the way to go. What gets repressed, finds a way to leak out unconsciously. Clinicians must do their own sexual healing and have a network of support and accountability. I encourage anyone holding space for psychedelic medicine to engage in their own sexual exploration and healing in order to hold space for folks who will be diving into the realm of their subconscious.
Psychedelics bring forth some of the deepest parts of the soul which very much includes our sexuality. Psychedelic therapy does and will continue to include the erotic. There’s a beautiful opportunity for psychedelic sex therapy to support people into deeper intimacy with pleasure, relationships, and erotic empowerment.
Currently, our centre offers ketamine-assisted psychotherapy and ketamine integration work for individuals treated with ketamine infusions outside the centre. We look forward to offering MDMA therapy and Psilocybin therapy, in addition to ketamine therapy when it becomes legal in the coming years
